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Conflict = Energy

The Transformative Practice of Authentic Relating


“Conflict is a dense energy packet from the universe that can be difficult to decipher, but it points the way to exactly the lessons we need to learn in order to grow.”

Guiding you through a full Authentic Relating curriculum including 32 tools and 12 games, these pages act as a comprehensive manual for connection. These practices can be used immediately to identify layers of truth and express them in a way that forges deeper bonds and paves the way for creative play with others.

Authentic Relating provides a framework to transform every aspect of our relationships––starting with the one we have with ourselves. Welcome to a journey of marrying truth and compassion to become more awake and aware. With this training, we can learn to alchemize conflict into clarity, connection, and creativity.

Join the human connection movement, comprised of people across the globe cultivating the art of becoming a better human. It is together that we expand our capacities to listen, understand, and truly connect.

Available in Paperback, Kindle and eBook



$19 + tax





PDF & ePub


This book represents a lifetime of study, practice, and teaching. A practical, wise, and user-friendly collection of best practices for helping people join together in creating systems and communities where we help one another heal. You know the old saying, “It takes a village.” Jason’s new book shows us how.
- Susan Campbell, Ph.D.

Author of Getting Real, Saying What’s Real, Truth in Dating, and Five-Minute Relationship Repair

In this visionary book, Jason Digges hands us the tools we need to humanize and enhearten our relationships. His brilliant offering is a sacred blueprint for individual and collective transformation.
- Jeff Brown

Author of Grounded Spirituality and An Uncommon Bond

Jason Digges has a profound, passionate practice in bettering human relationships. His personal work, his immersion in authentic relating, and commitment to community has resulted in this volume. If you take it to heart, it will provide real guidance to anyone who wants to deepen and enhance their relational lives.
- Diane Hamilton

Author of Everything is Workable and The Zen of You and Me

Finally, a wise and eminently practical guidebook to authentic relating and circling. Jason Digges has concisely encapsulated the important principles and key practices of this rich world in a way you’ll be able to understand and actually implement.
- Terry Patten

Author of A New Republic of the Heart and Integral Life Practice

In a world of so much polarization and misunderstanding, each of us needs to learn to be honest and vulnerable. That’s easy to say, but harder to live. This book is the A to Z guide to living in wide open tenderness.
- Arjuna Ardagh

Author of Radical Brilliance and eleven other books

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The Author, ART Co-Founder Jason Digges


Equal parts artist, philosopher, teacher, and media producer, Jason is a modern renaissance man. From 2003-2012 he worked for Integral Institute to create thousands of hours of educational media on the topics of transpersonal psychology, spirituality, productivity, and personal growth. Obsessed with how humans can live and relate optimally, he’s facilitated groups and taught authentic relating and circling since 2012. In 2017, Jason co-founded Authentic Relating Training International and has since led courses in 20 cities around the world.

An excerpt from Conflict = Energy

Chapter 12: Emotional Alchemy

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. – The Rolling Stones

If left unchecked, our survival instincts are strong enough to run amok and destroy our society. This is why humans have developed laws, regulations, police forces, and armies—yet these powerful instincts are a permanent part of us. They are not going anywhere, and suppressing them never works for long. In Authentic Relating, we allow the full power of these instincts to be expressed, without letting them take over and wreak havoc in our relationships.

Balancing these mighty forces can create a tremendous source of vitality in our life. This skill is far from easy, and yet necessary to develop in our journey into maturity. 

We all have experienced moments when we chose not to speak up, even when our intuition whispered, “This isn’t right.” We simply were not clear or courageous enough to speak the truth. This doesn’t make us inauthentic—it makes us human. Emotional Alchemy is the opposite of the suppression or repression of our experience. With training, we can instead dig into our truth in those moments, and bring that truth to light with the people we care about. We can choose to express instead of suppress. This opens a process of vital digestion and metabolization of our experience, and the result is more available emotional energy. 

 Alchemy Principles

Alchemy is the ancient study of turning lead into gold. In Emotional Alchemy, we are doing the difficult yet sacred work of transforming a “withhold” into an opportunity. Withholds are all the things we don’t share with others—out of fear, resistance, judgment, or avoidance of potential emotional backlash—but that could have some value if we had the courage to express them. When we withhold, we are effectively repressing our true selves, in a misguided attempt to maintain ease in a relationship. 

Unfortunately, this rarely works. Repression leads to a buildup of dissonance and tension, which, over time, only damage our bodies and minds. With the five steps of Emotional Alchemy, we return that energy to a more harmonious state by releasing the withheld communication. It’s the final tool we will cover, because it is a culmination of everything we have learned throughout this journey. 

Think of a time you experienced the relief of telling the truth. Telling the truth just feels good—and that feeling of relief is the transformation of stagnant into useful and usable energy. Learning to do this in real-time is one of the most powerful skills you can master. Just as alchemists transform metal into gold, we can learn to transform conflict into love. When we willingly embrace every energy, emotion, and experience as the precious material that it is, there’s no limit to the depths of connection we can create. 

“Telling the truth just feels good—and that feeling of relief is the transformation of stagnant into useful and usable energy. Learning to do this in real-time is one of the most powerful skills you can master. Just as alchemists transform metal into gold, we can learn to transform conflict into love.”

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